Halloween Horror: The Sewing Project that Wouldn't Die!!!

The column below was written quite a few years ago. I note that the Power Rangers are still going strong, so perhaps my advice will be of benefit to those who are still taking their little goblins trick-or-treating. My own progeny no longer trick-or-treat: Instead, they hand out the candy and do their best to terrify those courageous (or foolish) enough to brave our front porch, which is usually adorned with bubbling cauldrons, spooky music, and horrific costumed beasts. (My three sons make MARVELOUS beasts—it’s typecasting.)

Well, Halloween is almost here again: The most terrifying of all holidays. I know you’re all dreading it as much as I. The horror, the sense of hopelessness, the mind-numbing fear…

That’s right. We have to make costumes again.

Close to twenty years ago now, when my oldest son was about eight, he begged me to make him a “Green Ranger” costume. I offered him a roll of aluminum foil and suggested he go as a baked potato, but he wasn’t falling for it. No, it had to be the Green Ranger.

Well, I hadn’t sewed since junior high, but I reluctantly agreed, borrowing a sewing machine from a friend. This was at the beginning of October. I figured I had plenty of time.

I have three useful tips for those about to embark on a sewing project:

1. Start early. Like around Valentine’s Day.

2. Double check to make sure you have everything you need for the project. That

way you’ll only have to run back to Jo Anne’s Fabrics three or four dozen

times for stuff you either forgot or had no idea you needed in the first place.

3. Avoid anything that: a) has to be lined; b) has sleeves, and, most importantly,

c) uses lamé.

The Green Ranger’s shield was made of gold lamé. I had never worked with lamé before. In case you don’t know, lamé frays. Snags. And ravels like a—never mind. I still get the shakes just thinking about lamé. It may be pronounced “lah-MAY,” but there’s a very good reason it’s spelled the way it is.

The pattern had EIGHT pages of instructions. I kid you not. You would have thought the Federal Government was running this project.

Miraculously, the costume was finished on time (barely), and looked great. It ended up costing only three or four times as much as a ready-made costume would have. And he wore it once.

Which settles nicely the question of whether or not Halloween has satanic origins, doesn’t it?

But making the costume was a great character builder, and I learned a lot. The next year, when my son wanted to go as the White Ranger, I handed him a white sweat suit, a piece of poster board and told him to go for it. I did feel a little, nagging twinge of guilt, but because of my experience with the Green Ranger costume, I knew just what to do. I lay down until the twinge went away.